A Christmas message from the Queen biscuit

A Christmas message from the Queen biscuit

My dearest loyal fig rolls,

I hope you have enjoyed a splendid time since we last met, all bonfires and vampires, empty trees and woolly pullies.

It’s that special time of year already, when we scoff the Quality Street far too early, then have to go back and buy another tin before Christmas. I, for one, have already murdered a chocolate orange.

First things first,  I need to say a massive thank you to everyone who re-homed a stray polo bear or a feral gingerbread man this season, I’m obviously delighted at the take up – so,

thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!

Now, you know how sometimes, I like to venture out into the world and occasionally review an exhibition of interest? Well, I have been to see one of the art calendars most important exhibitions, the ‘Turner Prize’.

Staged outside of the Tate for the first time, I crossed the swaying millennium bridge, from Newcastle towards Gateshead and the host gallery, Baltic.  I was freezing and wind blasted but hopeful.

The first piece I saw was an installation called, ‘Do words have voices?‘ by Scottish artist, Martin Boyce (pictured below).

This harsh geometric object looked rather to me, like a large scale child’s activity centre. Also in the gallery, there were imitation ‘fallen’ leaves scattered around the floor, there was also a steel mesh bin containing a garment as a bin liner.   Now, please bear with me…. We are told that:

‘Martin Boyce engages with the historical legacy of Modernist forms and ideals to create deeply atmospheric installations drawing upon text and elements of design. Steeped in an understanding of the concepts of Modernist design, his work draws upon its visual language with a complex repertoire of forms. Noted for his engagement with how these objects are produced, Boyce is interested in how their original political or aesthetic ethos changes over time. His meticulous sculptures bear out his imaginings for the alternative lives these objects might lead if created at a different moment’

If you haven’t yet switched your pc off and gone to make a cup of tea…..this is very typical of the type of blurb you see on the gallery wall alongside conceptual art and oh so pompously attempts to explain and justify itself.

Moving into the next gallery, much has been said of George Shaw’s townscape paintings. His technique is good but the subject matter not anything groundbreaking,  so what is the big sell here?? I’ll tell you, Shaw paints in ‘Humbrol’ enamels  (the type you find in a model Airfix kit).  I failed to see anything significant in that; surely he’s just made his own life much harder. The paintings brought my mood low, when I had privately hoped to champion the painter of the group.

Karla Black and Hillary Lloyd, similarly failed to inspire with their respective pieces, a large, undulating paper/paint and plastic installation and Lloyd’s dull Audio Visual set up.

Without the twin engines of a world class stage (the Baltic is a particularly impressive space) and the gigantically pretentious arts media, driving this exhibition into the limelight, would anyone really pay it the amount of attention it has received?

I am, as you know an artist myself, I collect art, and I also have a strong interest in art history and theory – I sometimes visit awesome collections in world galleries,  I live and breathe the stuff….but at this show, something inside me gave up.  I failed to care.  It then also made me wonder, if I feel this way, where might it leave a curious Geordie local, hoping to take in a little culture?

This year’s Turner prize kept me in a depression for hours after.  Not even the Baltic shop with its pretty things could cheer me. Having said that, I did have a cinnamon pretzel in the café and that rallied me enough to not throw myself off the Tyne Bridge.

So with all of that out of the way, I’ll just get on with my own art and hopefully visit a more uplifting exhibition soon. I may also write to the Baltic and see if they’d like me to fill it up with gingerbread and sugar mice?

I’ve gone and prattled on again, haven’t I? In a shockingly ‘Bah humbug’ sort of way too!  But one thing that does brighten me up, is the thought of all of you, having a tremendous seasonal blast with your loved ones – so, here’s wishing you all a very happy and peaceful Christmas.

I’ll see you in the New Year.

Love,

SJ